


Diary of a「Loser」

by melancholic_chocoholic



Category: Dangan Ronpa
Genre: ....I suppose?, Based on headcanons, Character Study, Diary/Journal, I don't have a beta, Like headcanons galore, Little is known about her actual past soooo...., My First Fanfic, Rating May Change, Spoilers, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-25
Updated: 2017-01-15
Packaged: 2018-06-10 15:23:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 2,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6962371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melancholic_chocoholic/pseuds/melancholic_chocoholic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A closer look at the self-proclaimed loser, Taeko Yasuhiro. Little glimpses of her from a sparkly, black notebook with a little heart-sharped lock.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

23 November 20xx

Dear Diary, 

Hi, I'm Taeko and it's my birthday! I'm 9 and I really like gyoza and stuff!  
Mama brought me a really pretty dress! It pink with really pretty red roses on it and she got me strawberry custard cake and it was really good!

Grandpa gave me you. 

Grandpa says that diaries are for people to write their super secret thoughts with like stuff you can't tell other people

"Diaries are only for your true self!" Whatever that means  
He said he had one too when he was my age but I wonder when that was! (Hee-hee!)

Well anyways, I'm really sleepy and I have school tomorrow!  
Sweet dreams!


	2. Chapter 2

12 December 20xx

It's snowing today! I really like snow! 

Except when someone pushes you down in dirty snow or make you eat it. 

Seeing it in under the sun all sparkly like that makes me think of that really pretty wedding dress I saw while mama and I were window shopping at Bell Mall one day

I wonder if I'll ever get married one day

Mama probably wouldn't get me that dress, it was over 180,000 yen. She'd probably sew a bunch of table cloths before and call it a dress. I'm not putting it past her. 

I asked Grandpa why mama doesn't like buying me new clothes and goes into junk yards and thrift stores just to find us clothes  
He said its because she's a cheapskate, she hates spending money.

Why would anyone hate spending money? That's weird! 

I asked grandpa why she doesn't like to spend money and he just said that mama has a money hand with a hole burnt into it.

I don't know what that means but why wouldn't like spend money. Money is great! You can buy great stuff like gyoza, comic books and stuff from gacha machines! And the notes are really pretty!  
I like the 1000 yen notes because of how they look but i loooooooooooove the 10000 because its so much!

I'm gonna go see if I can find some 50 yen coins in the couch so I can buy some Pino or Queen Annes!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pino are little things of ice-cream covered in chocolate.  
> They're fucking divine!


	3. Chapter 3

25 December 20xx

I hate Christmas

Mama made Christmas cake but it tasted too sweet.

All I got is hand-me-down clothes and stationary stuff.

Mama and Grandpa argue and the chicken that Grandpa makes is too greasy and its messing with my tummy

I wish I could brag like the girls at school do  
One girl said she was going to Europe visit her dad and she gets Christmas twice! 

I asked Grandpa why we can't go to Europe and he just says, "Thank your mother for that, she has too much here to deal with."  
That caused another argument.

I want the day to end.


	4. Chapter 4

1 January 20xx

It's a new year! I can't wait until Girls Day, that's when mama and grandpa get me strawberry daifuku with white strawberries!   
Mama said she might get me my first doll and a new yukata! 

I know I'm not supposed to say what I prayed for when I got to the shrine but I'm writing it so its okay.

I wish that mama wouldn't be so cheap and that she wouldn't get clothes from thrift stores or dumpsters. I wish that grandpa and her can get along more and that mama will let me have a cat!  
I want a little tuxedo kitty with pretty yellow eyes and a fluffy tail!

I told grandpa and when he gave me my little money envelope he said he'll think about it and its best that I not spend that money, I really want gyoza but I also really want that kitty!  
Well I'm really sleepy, mama said she'll make a huge snowman with me tomorrow! I can't wait!


	5. Chapter 5

7 January 20xx

Grandpa is watching me because mama disappeared again.

She disappeared while I was asleep so I made my own breakfast and called grandpa before I left for school. 

Mama disappears a lot and every time I ask grandpa where she goes, he looks a little sad and hugs me and says that her money hand is burning and she's putting more holes in it.

I tried to ask what that means and he just says, you'll get it when you're older.

I know she doesn't have holes in her hands so what could this mean? 

Why are adults so weird with words?  
I hope I won't get this weird...


	6. Chapter 6

9 January 20xx

Mother came back, she looked a mess.

The pretty work suit she usually wears when she's going to work looks like she's been rolling around in dirt.  
Her hair was out of its usual bun and it looks all bunched up.

And she says I can't do that.....alrighty. 

Grandpa told me to go upstairs and when I did, he yelled at mama.

I don't really mind her disappearing like that anymore, I can make things for myself and stuff and I can always call grandpa when the lights or cable go out.   
In fact, it's quiet when she's gone, I don't have to hear her yelling at people on the phone or at the TV  
And I like it that way....is that bad?

I love my mama but she's weird and loud.....


	7. Chapter 7

12 January 20xx

It's really really really late!  
It's 4 in the morning.

The reason why I'm up is because I hear mama crying again.  
It's an episode, as grandpa puts it.

She's had these a lot for as long as I can remember  
Every time I go and see what's wrong. she'd usually yell at me to go to bed or something.

When she's having an episode, she's on the couch in the living room with the TV on but muted. Sometimes she makes a huge mess but not this time around. 

Tonight, when she saw me, she got up and hugged me reeealllly tight like I was a teddy bear or something and she said that she was sorry. When I asked why she's sorry, she just shook her head and said something weird. "I'm sorry that you're lucky, like me."

I'm too tired to think about what that means, I hope she'll leave or something again so I can make breakfast.


	8. Chapter 8

24 January 20xx

We visited grandma's grave today. 

She died a year ago today but it still feels really painful and I miss her very much. 

Mama's rustling all over the house to find her old voice mail machine thing because it had the last message we heard from her.

Every time I would go to her house, she'd make sure I felt like a princess!

She'd play dress up with me and the dresses were really pretty and poofy, she said that she got them from a movie star from the US that was her pen pal when she was my age!

She even made me Royal Milk Tea and it was soooo good! I wish mama could make it like she did. Grandma made it right every time.

She'd even have these yummy dark chocolate cookies with it from Italy! I think they were called Quadratino cookies.

I wish I could find them and I asked for mama to help me get them but she said that they were really expensive.

I wish my grandma was still here, I wanna to be a princess again.


	9. Chapter 9

2 February 20xx

Grandpa taught me how to play a game called Poker!

I really like it and I got the hang of it really quickly!

I beat grandpa every time and for each time I won he gave me a 100 yen coin, I walked home with 1200 yen and that's more than enough for a nice dinner for me with desert!

He said that I can only play with him because playing poker is illegal I guess

When I asked mama to play poker with me, she had the strangest look on her face.  
She said that I shouldn't do such things because they can get me in trouble.

I said okay but I crossed my fingers of course because I like it and I'll make sure I won't get in trouble!

Grandpa said the next time I come over, he'll teach me how to play Mahjong and Hanafuda!


	10. Chapter 10

25 February 20xx 

Grandpa told me something really cool today!

He said that I'm getting so good with playing Poker with him, he said he said that he's gonna take me somewhere where both of us can get a lot of money!  
He said it's gonna be a lot lot lot of money like in the billions!

The only thing is that he said to not tell mama, cause it'll make her mad.

There was a really pretty dress I saw in a botique on the way home from Grandpa's today!

It was a black dress with white lace and it had pictures of stained glass chapel windows on the skirt part it.  
Maybe I can get it when I get money!


	11. Chapter 11

1 March 20xx

After mama left for work, grandpa said he had something for me in his car.

It was the dress I saw in the boutique! It's sooooooooooo beautiful up close and he got me a little hat, stockings and shoes to match!

He said it was a pre-thank you present and I got to wear it at the party he said he'd take me to!

I played Poker and a new game called Baccarat with a bunch of big and weird looking guys but I wasn't scared of them cause Mama can be scarier than them when she's drunk!

The party was really fun and I got oooooodles of money!  
It's so much, I can have gyoza and chocolate and comics and stuff and I'd get all the pretty dresses too and maybe I can hire a bodyguard to keep people from making fun of me!

Or maybe A CASTLE FULL OF CATS AND CUTE BUTLERS!

But grandpa said I had to give a good portion of it to him so mama won't find out but I got 28,000 out of 110,000 yen and he said that should last me for a tiny while.

Let's just hope mom isn't skimpy on the rent again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Conversion rates are really weird so please inform me if I messed something up.  
> Basically, she won a little over 1000 USD and he gave just 275 USD of that 1000 because  
> A) What would a kid do with that much money?  
> B) Mama Yasuhiro would get pretty suspicious


	12. Chapter 12

12 March 20xx

Mom's drinking again.  
Everything feels gloomy and heavy thanks to rain. 

She's crying over wedding shows on TV  
She's saying "It isn't fair, that should be me."

I don't know and I don't want to know. 

I don't think I'll sleep tonight and that means I won't see my castle.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am in need of a beta reader for this story.  
> If interested, please shoot me an ask on my Tumblr. 
> 
> Thanks~


	13. Chapter 13

3 April 20xx

It's a new school year....  
Mama "brought" me clothes from a "friend""

I didn't think that someone could be friends with a garbage dumpster behind a department store but mama did the impossible.  
I think that's sarcasm, like Grandpa said, people hide how mean they can be through nice words. It's grown up humor.

I wish I was a princess.   
They don't have to wear old clothes or have sad moms


	14. Chapter 14

13 April 20xx

I went to another one of Grandpa's parties and I got soooo much money! I won 351,333 yen to be exact!

Poker is soooo much fun, especially when I'm up against some big Yakuza guys! I wasn't scared though, Grandpa taught me how to make a "poker face"

Some of the other people's poker faces were really weird and I couldn't stop giggling. 

I'm really happy I got this money! I'll help my mom turn the lights back on and we'll have more food in the fridge. Grandpa said he'll buy me more dresses and manga too! 

He gave me my cut and he said he'll keep the rest and he pinky swore that he wouldn't spend it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 351333 yen is 3000 usd
> 
> If I messed that up, please let me know!


	15. Chapter 15

21 April 20xx

I'm scared. 

Mama wasn't breathing. I came home from school and saw her lying on the kitchen floor with a rope around her neck. 

I'm sitting at Grandpa's house because he said that there could be an uproar and he doesn't want me to see it. 

I hope my mama will be okay 

Do princesses have to worry about this?


	16. Chapter 16

29 April 20xx

She's okay. She's just in Intensive Care. 

We visited her today but we couldn't stay for long. She looked at me with weird eyes and she started to cry like she did those few weeks ago.

Grandpa told me that she tried to kill herself. He wouldn't tell me why.   
He just handed me some money and told me to go to store and get whatever I like. 

I didn't know they sold Royal Milk Tea....it doesn't taste the same but I'll still drink it. 

I feel a little bit like a Princess.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd to thank musumeofthenonarygame on Tumblr for being my beta reader!   
> Thank you so much friend~

5 May 20xx

There was a huge parade today! 

There were big floats with tons of magical girls and lots of fun things to do like face paints and a huge bouncy house! 

But I saw the most amazing thing of all today! Real live princesses! They were wearing the same kind of dress I did when I went to Grandpa's party for the first time.   
Some looked like they were getting married because they were wearing all white and all of their dresses were beyond pretty! 

I even got to talk to one of them and they said that it's a fashion trend called Lolita! That sounds pretty doesn't it? Grandpa said I had a dress like they did and that I looked like an angel! They told me that one day I could be on their float too and be a pretty princess like them! 

I really can't wait!

I wish mama was here...


	18. Chapter 18

10 May 20xx

I didn't have a very good day today.

I got dragged in the mud by a bunch of mean girls on the way home and a big black cat scratched me. It was on my arm too. Grandpa says it will go away in a while but it looks ugly. I hope my dress will keep it from showing.

But the thing that made it even worse was that Grandpa told me mama was gonna be away for a little while. 

He said she needed some personal help and I'd be with him for a little while. 

I asked Grandpa what mama needed help with. He just shook his head and said that I'll have to wait until I'm older.

I'm going to sleep.


End file.
